Pro means Pro

Posted on December 20, 2011 at 2:48 PM
 2 Comments »
Dec 202011
 

A few days ago, I finished reading a novel.

(Ooh! Alert the media!)

(Shut up. I haven’t gotten to the point, yet.)

I’m not going to identify the novel or the author. What I will say is that this was a self-published novel on Kindle, written by someone who has published multiple books with major publishers in the past, and whose past books I very much enjoyed.

And I really enjoyed this book. It is, in fact, one of his best. In terms of actual content, anyway.

Formatting-wise, though? Error-wise? A disaster of brobdingnagian proportions.

Entire paragraphs were improperly centered/indented, on an average of more often than once every ten pages. (Well, “screens.”) Typos–of either the “this is spelled right but it’s the wrong word” or of the “there’s a word obviously missing here”–were as copious as gratuitous topless shots in a horror movie remake.

And this is not normal for the author in question, based on his past works. All I can figure is that, since the book was self-published, he didn’t employ an editor.

I’m sorry, guys, but that is not acceptable. Sure, things like typos and formatting don’t matter to a lot of readers–but to a lot of us, they do. No, this one badly edited book won’t keep me from buying future books of his. But if the trend continues? Yeah, it could eventually reach the point where I’d stop.

Self-publishing is in a transition period right now. It’s becoming ever more common. Lots of professional writers are choosing to go that route. But it’s still also looked down upon by a large portion of the market.

If self-publishers want that to stop, if they want the same respect as authors who go through a publisher, they must–must–come across as just as professional. And that means that a self-published novel must go through all the same quality assurance steps as traditionally published novels.

Not “some.” All.

You need editors. Yes, plural. A content editor and a proofreader/copy editor. They’re not the same thing. You need professional cover art. You need decent layout. And yes, that means sinking some funds into the book and paying for all of this.

I don’t care if you’ve been writing for 50 years. I don’t care if you’re a prodigy. I don’t care if you’re a Rowling, or a Martin, or a King. I don’t care if you’re Tolkien or Howard returned from the grave. (Well, actually, I do–a lot–but for different reasons.) No matter who you are, you are not an exception.

Your work needs editing. Period. So does mine. So does everyone else’s. It’s just part of the process, and it’s neither optional nor negotiable.

You want to be a pro? You want people to treat you as a pro, and the burgeoning field of modern self-publishing as a professional one? Act it. Be meticulous. Be willing to shell out some dollars at the start. And get it right.

Well, that was… interesting

Posted on December 19, 2011 at 12:50 AM
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Dec 192011
 

So, George and I are leaving Kerby Lane Cafe after a late dinner. We get to her car, and George presses the button on the remote.

The car fails to respond.

The battery in the remote’s working; the little light blinks when you push the button. The alarm is working; the light inside the car is blinking. They’ve simply stopped communicating.

Sure, we can just unlock the door with the key–but the remote is the only way to disarm the alarm.

So, grumbling, we go back inside and call AAA. After a while, the guy shows up.

After futzing with it for a while (and deafening us with the alarm), all he can do is disable the alarm completely. Okay, fine. We’ll do without it for a while. It takes him a while to find the right fuse.

He pulls it out and gives it to George. He opens and closes the door multiple times, locks and unlocks it multiple times, to make sure the alarm is well and truly off. It is.

He starts to leave, we get in the car, George starts the ignition. The alarm goes off.

We turn the car off. He backs his truck back up to come look. George starts the ignition, so he can see that the alarm is still going off when we start the car.

Except this time, the alarm doesn’t go off.

Hovering in a cloud of “What the hell?” George and I drive home. We get out of the car. We close the door.

We hear the beep of the alarm arming itself.

The plan is for George to go straight to Best Buy (their auto electronics department) in the morning. In the interim, the questions are:

A) What happened to the alarm?

B) What the hell fuse did the guy pull out?!?! O.o

I mean, it did stop the alarm from going off. Except for when it didn’t. At this point, our best theory is that the damn thing is healing

KHAAAAAAANNNN!!!!!

Posted on December 5, 2011 at 7:25 PM
 1 Comment »
Dec 052011
 

Rumor after rumor suggests that Khan will be the villain of the next Star Trek movie.

DO. NOT. WANT.

Star Trek II is still the strongest of the original series of movies. There’s zero reason to revisit it. More to the point, the entire advantage of this new “alternate timeline” is so that we can see new stories with these new actors playing the original cast. That’s new stories. What’s the point of doing this if you’re just going to retell the same stories we’ve already seen, just with a few different twists?

Thirty-eight years ago…

Posted on November 27, 2011 at 12:59 AM
 No Comments »
Nov 272011
 

…one of the most important events in my life occurred.

This may come as a surprise, since I was still several months away from being born on this day thirty-eight years ago. But then, we’re married and this is a community property state, so half of my life is hers, and half of her life is mine. ;-)

Happy birthday, George. I love you.

An Open Letter to “The Write Agenda”

Posted on October 30, 2011 at 4:49 PM
 3 Comments »
Oct 302011
 

I have no idea how or why I got listed on your “recommended authors” list, but I have a request.

Take me the hell off, you dishonest, libelous, scum-sucking parasites. I want your support the same way I want a severe case of syphilis.

I hope you get cancer of the hemorrhoids. Fuck you very much.

Sincerely,

Ari Marmell

(For those who aren’t up to date on what The Write Agenda is, see my earlier entry here.)

I Seem to Have Missed a Milestone

Posted on October 25, 2011 at 6:14 AM
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Oct 252011
 

I just now realized…

This past July marked the 10th anniversary of the publication of my first paid/professional writing gig ever: Specifically, The Gilded Cage, a Vampire: the Masquerade supplement.

Next week–as in early November–marks the 10th anniversary of the publication of my first paid/professional D&D (or at least D&D-compatible) writing gig, the adventure Shadows Under Thessalaine, from the late and lamented MonkeyGod Enterprises.

Later, I will feel accomplished. Right now, I just feel old. 8-O

Beware the Agenda

Posted on October 3, 2011 at 7:46 PM
 3 Comments »
Oct 032011
 

So, if you pay a little attention to what’s going on in the writing/publishing community, you may have become aware of the current kerfuffle involving the sites Writer Beware and The Write Agenda.

Before I go into this, let me be clear. I have no personal stake in either site. I’m not associated with either. I have not (to my knowledge, at the time of this writing) been singled out by either, positively or negatively. The closest connection I have is that I happen to be a member of the Science Fiction Writers of America, many other members of which are involved in Writer Beware. But I’m not a very active member, and I know few of these individuals personally.

All that said, I do have an interest inasmuch as I want to see the community thrive, and I want to see new writers have a fair shot without being taken advantage of.

So let me be clear, for those who might not know. This is not a situation of “two sides each having their fair points.” This is not a misunderstanding. This is not open to interpretation by anyone who actually has the facts.

What this is, is one long-running and well respected resource whose sole purpose is to warn authors away from scammers, cheaters, thieves, and the like–that would be Writer Beware–and a dishonest, ugly, blatantly lying, and potentially libelous site put together for the sole purpose of casting doubt on the first site, in hopes of making people more likely to trust the scammers. That would be the Write Agenda.

No shades of gray. No differences of opinion. This is one of those rare cases where the lines are clear, and there’s a blatant bad guy.

Writer Beware is a resource that every writer–published or otherwise–should have in their bookmarks. The Write Agenda–who I refuse to even link to, as I will not be responsible for getting them even a single click–should be treated with the same respect you’d give breaking news of alien vampire baby politicians in your average supermarket tabloid. Actually less, since at least the tabloid isn’t actively trying to assist scammers.

A quick comment on Castle

Posted on September 30, 2011 at 5:17 PM
 1 Comment »
Sep 302011
 

Castle is one of my top three favorite shows currently airing. It may be in my top ten ever; definitely in the top twenty.

But–and this is important–they’re also on the verge of committing what I consider to be the cardinal sin of “Dragging certain details out for far too long.”

We’ve just begun season four. By the end of season four, I want to see the “Who’s the big mastermind behind the conspiracy that killed Beckett’s mother?” plotline wrapped up, and I want to see the “Will they/won’t they?” actually result in a romantic relationship.

(And don’t feed me any lines about “The Moonlighting Curse.” I don’t buy it.)

Of course there can still be complications between them, and of course the show can introduce a new long-running plot arc (though I’m not convinced it needs one). But these? Time to tie the bow, people.

Otherwise, no matter how much I love the show, I’m not sure I’ll be sticking around for season five. :-(